sky

a friend of mine called sky
made me feel today

she told me;
outside there’s a world
internally another
and sometimes you get lost
you run and cover

put your hand on your heart
a feeling of utter

feel your beats
and repeat
i am here

don’t stutter

hollow

hollow
unable to swallow

i wallow every night
in sorrow

waiting for the sun to rise

i bow to the light
and ask

if i can borrow
any of her shine

to help me tomorrow

starting my day with a lie
hoping no one notices

that i die

inside

every night

hoping for a better tomorrow

but what if this never ends?
and we never make amends?

i’m not for rent
and you were never a friend

it hurt when you went
yet i felt unbent
free
able to reinvent

new characters
coming along
walking through me

suddenly
the pages of my book
are filled
with strangers

old lessons
different messengers

repeated patterns
repeated lessons

i’ve seen this before
“it’s different this time”
i tell myself… everytime

one thing is different for sure
and that thing is definitely me
not you

my mind is all over
fireworks
from head to toe

one moment
above the clouds
next… way below

this chapter
shall not be named
blank pages
filled with vain

no title this time
enough stories for now

i shall not have another page
filled with gasps
filled with pain

i’ll end the sentence
before you speak any word
no more strangers
in my world

fear

she’s simply afraid
in dire need of aid

heaviness
outweighed

thoughts strayed
stories replayed

ashamed
stained
blamed

always behaved
demanding praise

she was caged
self constrained

but she prayed
swayed
to the tunes she played

her soul bailed
exhaled