sky

a friend of mine called sky
made me feel today

she told me;
outside there’s a world
internally another
and sometimes you get lost
you run and cover

put your hand on your heart
a feeling of utter

feel your beats
and repeat
i am here

don’t stutter

hollow

hollow
unable to swallow

i wallow every night
in sorrow

waiting for the sun to rise

i bow to the light
and ask

if i can borrow
any of her shine

to help me tomorrow

starting my day with a lie
hoping no one notices

that i die

inside

every night

hoping for a better tomorrow

familiar strangers

new characters
coming along
walking through me

suddenly
the pages of my book
are filled
with strangers

old lessons
different messengers

repeated patterns
repeated lessons

i’ve seen this before
“it’s different this time”
i tell myself… everytime

one thing is different for sure
and that thing is definitely me
not you

my mind is all over
fireworks
from head to toe

one moment
above the clouds
next… way below

this chapter
shall not be named
blank pages
filled with vain

no title this time
enough stories for now

i shall not have another page
filled with gasps
filled with pain

i’ll end the sentence
before you speak any word
no more strangers
in my world

belong

where are we?

are we within?

can we live without?

without whom you might ask

without exactly the one you thought about

did we ever belong?

did we ever own?

anything beyond flesh or bone

were we ever there?

is it a place?

is it a where?

never felt near

never felt here

always been away

far

beyond

where nothing belongs

fear

fear

she’s simply afraid
in dire need of aid

heaviness
outweighed

thoughts strayed
stories replayed

ashamed
stained
blamed

always behaved
demanding praise

she was caged
self constrained

but she prayed
swayed
to the tunes she played

her soul bailed
exhaled

a lot

so many feelings coming along

no idea what’s right and wrong

jumping through thoughts

have been lost all along 

brave i thought I have been

but some moments brake in 

chaos found the way

creeping in my veins

an emotion i cannot shake

things i cannot fake

but what will this make

stop for gods sake