look me in the eye
tell me what you see
i spent last night
trying to flee
imprisoned with wings
an attempt to escape
me
not taught
how to be
never learned
the importance
of thee
open up my cage
and count to three
set me free
look me in the eye
tell me what you see
i spent last night
trying to flee
imprisoned with wings
an attempt to escape
me
not taught
how to be
never learned
the importance
of thee
open up my cage
and count to three
set me free
it’s too hard
asking my lips
to smile with lies
it’s too hard
asking my muscles
to relax and contract
it’s too hard
asking my mind
to focus on now
it’s too hard
to breathe in
and simply let out
it’s too hard
to let blood flow
out of my heart
it’s too hard
to harden my legs
and walk on ground
it’s too hard
to straighten my hands
and wave and laugh
it’s too hard
tonight
to be alive
a friend of mine called sky
made me feel today
she told me;
outside there’s a world
internally another
and sometimes you get lost
you run and cover
put your hand on your heart
a feeling of utter
feel your beats
and repeat
i am here
don’t stutter
hollow
unable to swallow
i wallow every night
in sorrow
waiting for the sun to rise
i bow to the light
and ask
if i can borrow
any of her shine
to help me tomorrow
starting my day with a lie
hoping no one notices
that i die
inside
every night
hoping for a better tomorrow
but what if this never ends?
and we never make amends?
i’m not for rent
and you were never a friend
it hurt when you went
yet i felt unbent
free
able to reinvent
new characters
coming along
walking through me
suddenly
the pages of my book
are filled
with strangers
old lessons
different messengers
repeated patterns
repeated lessons
i’ve seen this before
“it’s different this time”
i tell myself… everytime
one thing is different for sure
and that thing is definitely me
not you
my mind is all over
fireworks
from head to toe
one moment
above the clouds
next… way below
this chapter
shall not be named
blank pages
filled with vain
no title this time
enough stories for now
i shall not have another page
filled with gasps
filled with pain
i’ll end the sentence
before you speak any word
no more strangers
in my world
where are we?
are we within?
can we live without?
without whom you might ask
without exactly the one you thought about
did we ever belong?
did we ever own?
anything beyond flesh or bone
were we ever there?
is it a place?
is it a where?
never felt near
never felt here
always been away
far
beyond
where nothing belongs
hey you, yes you
since you’re here i wanna say a few things
it’s okay if you wanna leave but don’t worry it’s not that deep
i wouldn’t share my deepest secret with a stranger after all, or maybe i will
anyways this year was the weirdest of all
and i mean i bet it was for you too
and i don’t want to sound all positive and stuff
because no
it was bad
but i’ve been thinking recently about one thing
connection
i feel as a world
we’ve never been this connected before
like we’re all alone but together
this sense of togetherness have been with me
like we’ve been through stages of 2020
together
it’s weird but like also nice
anyways i am not here to say that i am sure you know that by now
i just want to say that i am proud of you
i know you’ve been going through something else
whatever that was for you
i am sure when added to what happened to the rest of us recently
it must have been SO hard
because lol i know me too
and for that i would like to say that you are really brave for putting up with all of that
and december has just started
and i don’t believe in new month new year new me and all
but if that makes you feel better then do it
it’s always a new chance
everyday is a new chance for you to try again
to get up
or to go to sleep since it’s almost 3 am
but i mean whatever you’re doing
wherever you are
i just hope you’re doing well
and i believe you’ll do even better tomorrow
i am happy you stayed here with me
because this is way too long and maybe one person reaches this line
but even if it’s just one person
i am happy you’re here
and i wish you the best
take care,
Hussa
fear
she’s simply afraid
in dire need of aid
heaviness
outweighed
thoughts strayed
stories replayed
ashamed
stained
blamed
always behaved
demanding praise
she was caged
self constrained
but she prayed
swayed
to the tunes she played
her soul bailed
exhaled
i wanna go there
elsewhere with lots of air
i no longer bear
feeling bare
full of scare
full of despair
how can i repair
this nightmare